Come, Follow Me Lesson This Week: Talking to Children About Joseph Smith’s Martyrdom

Come, Follow Me Lesson This Week: Talking to Children About Joseph Smith’s Martyrdom
Joseph Smith

This week’s Come, Follow Me lesson covers one of the most sensitive and challenging parts of Church history: the assassination of Prophet Joseph Smith and his brother Hyrum in Carthage Jail. As parents, it’s natural to feel unsure—or even uneasy—about how to share this story with your children. How do you talk about such a tragic event in a way that is honest, yet gentle? How can you help your children understand courage, faith, and God’s guiding hand, without causing unnecessary fear or anxiety?

The key is to shift the focus away from violence and fear and toward the courage, faith, and divine purpose in Joseph and Hyrum’s lives. By emphasizing these qualities, you help your children understand what it means to follow God—even when life is difficult.

In this post, we’ll explore ways to prepare your heart, share the story in an age-appropriate way, explain how God chooses prophets, encourage reflection, and close the lesson in a spiritually uplifting way.

1. Preparing Your Heart

Before you begin teaching, it’s essential to take a moment to prepare yourself. Talking about the martyrdom of Joseph and Hyrum can be emotionally challenging, so your own mindset and spiritual preparation matter.

Start with prayer. Ask Heavenly Father to help you speak with clarity, love, and wisdom. Pray for courage to share the story in a way that emphasizes faith, service, and divine guidance rather than fear or tragedy.

When preparing your words, keep these points in mind:

  • Choose simple, truthful language: Avoid graphic details or violent descriptions. Instead, focus on what Joseph and Hyrum were doing, why they were important, and how they trusted God.
  • Focus on faith and courage: Emphasize how these brothers were committed to God’s work, even when facing danger. Highlight their obedience, bravery, and dedication.
  • Invite reflection: Remember that it’s okay if you don’t have all the answers. Sometimes, the most meaningful part of the lesson is exploring questions together and reflecting as a family.

Parents often worry about their own emotions influencing the lesson, and that’s natural. Being honest about your feelings—without letting them overshadow the story—can help children see that faith doesn’t mean we never struggle, but that God can help us through challenges.

2. Framing the Story by Age

Children understand difficult stories differently depending on their age, so adjusting your approach is crucial.

Younger children (ages 3–8)
For very young children, keep the story simple and focus on love, service, and obedience. They don’t need to know the violent details of Carthage Jail. Instead, focus on the following:

  • Joseph and Hyrum loved God and wanted to help people.
  • They made choices that showed courage and faith.
  • God always watches over His children and guides them.

A helpful resource for this age group is the Friend article “Peace in Prayer.” This story follows Mary, a young girl in Nauvoo, who experiences fear and sadness when she learns of Joseph and Hyrum’s deaths. Through her example, children can relate to feelings of worry and grief while seeing how prayer can bring peace and comfort.

You can also include other scripture stories—like Moses leading the Israelites or Nephi building the ship—to show that God chooses people to do important things and helps them through challenges. These examples help children understand that life sometimes brings trials, but God is always there to guide and comfort us.

Older children (ages 9–12)
Children in this age group can understand a bit more about historical context and the challenges faced by early Church members. You can explain why Joseph and Hyrum were in Carthage Jail and how they remained faithful even in difficult circumstances. Focus on:

  • The principles of courage, faith, and obedience.
  • How Joseph and Hyrum’s choices reflected their trust in God.
  • How the early Saints faced challenges and persecution for their beliefs.

At this stage, it’s okay to discuss the challenges they faced and the difficult choices they made, but still avoid overly graphic descriptions. Encourage your children to think about how they might respond in situations that test their faith, helping them connect historical events to their own lives.

Teens (ages 13+)
Teenagers can handle deeper historical context and theological concepts. You can discuss:

  • The prophecy of the Restoration and the long-term significance of Joseph and Hyrum’s martyrdom.
  • The social and political circumstances that led to Carthage Jail.
  • How their lives and sacrifices have influenced the Church today.

Encourage teens to reflect on their own faith and choices. Questions like, “How can we show courage in our own lives?” or “How do we follow the prophets today?” can spark meaningful discussion. Teens often appreciate being treated as thoughtful participants rather than passive listeners, so let them ask questions and explore their feelings.

3. How God Chooses His Prophets

Children—and even adults—often wonder why God chooses certain people to be prophets. You can explain this in simple but meaningful terms:

  • Faithfulness matters: Prophets are chosen because they are humble, obedient, and willing to serve God.
  • Prophets are human: They make mistakes, experience trials, and have challenges just like the rest of us. What matters is their willingness to follow God and His guidance.
  • Scripture examples: Use stories of Moses, Nephi, Alma, or modern prophets to illustrate how God guides His servants and works through them to bless His children.

It’s important to also help children understand that just as God guides prophets, He guides each of us in our daily lives. Simple acts of obedience, prayer, and service can invite God’s guidance into our own experiences, helping children see the relevance of prophets’ lives in their own faith journey.

4. Encouraging Reflection and Questions

After sharing the story, encourage your children to reflect and express themselves. Open-ended questions can help them think deeply:

  • “What can we learn from Joseph and Hyrum about being brave?”
  • “How can we follow the prophets today?”
  • “How does knowing God guides us help us when we’re afraid?”

Validate your children’s feelings. They may feel sadness, confusion, or curiosity. Let them know it’s okay to have these emotions and that talking about them is a healthy way to process difficult topics. Reassure them that God protects and guides His children, even in challenging circumstances.

Reflection can also include personal application. Ask questions like:

  • “What are some ways we can show faith and courage in our own lives?”
  • “How can prayer help us feel peace when we are worried?”

This approach helps children connect historical events with their own experiences, making the lesson meaningful and memorable.

Teaching about Joseph and Hyrum’s martyrdom can feel heavy, but it’s also an opportunity to focus on the qualities we want to nurture in our children—faith, courage, and trust in God. By framing the story in age-appropriate ways, highlighting their devotion and bravery, and inviting reflection, we help children see that even in difficult times, God is always present.

Remember, the goal isn’t to dwell on tragedy, but to celebrate lives lived with purpose and conviction. Encourage your children to think about how they can show courage, make righteous choices, and follow God’s guidance in their own lives. Through thoughtful discussion, prayer, and reflection, this lesson can become a source of hope and inspiration, helping your family feel closer to God and to each other.

Even when the stories are hard, focusing on love, faith, and divine guidance allows children to understand that God’s hand is always at work—and that they, too, can trust Him in every circumstance.

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